Two days ago I was outside watching my son practice balancing skills on his bike, the same thing I had been doing for three months. He is learning to ride several years older than his peers and it has started to become apparent even to him that this is different.

I knew something was wrong the day he was born, but it took 4 years before ANY diagnosis was made and even those findings seemed somewhat insignificant. I knew something was wrong because his feet didn’t curve inward on the bottom of his foot like all my friends babies. The doctors said it was nothing and I wanted to believe it, but then he didn’t walk and the doctor said it was fine because some kids just take longer to walk. As time passed, we would have family dancing parties and he would throw himself into the air trying to participate, but unable to get his legs to hold him upright. I finally begged my doctor, “How delayed do we have to let a child be before we help them?” She gave in and referred him for physical therapy.

We were somewhat out of place as we waited for our appointment. Children in leg braces, children in wheelchairs – likely never going to walk. I was humbled, knowing my child would walk, even if there were struggles, his weren’t nearly as severe as what I was now seeing.

Some trials in life are permanent, some are fleeting, the key is finding the difference – accepting those that are permanent while finding the strength to make it through those that are fleeting.

Our son did walk

and then ran

and now – trying to ride a bike.

It turns out he has an inherited condition where he experiences “seizure activity,” but has not yet had a seizure.

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It is as if the lights keep being turned out while reading, you get bits and pieces, but it is not congruent learning and large sections can be lost. This condition has affected everything from speech to walking, reading, eye sight and balance. It affects how his brain learns and how his body grows.

So far he has been able to accomplish everything his peers have, it just takes 10 times as long or with 10 times the effort. That is why we have been practicing for the last 3 months…

I know he will learn, but he doesn’t – not yet.

When overcoming obstacles, that is one of the hardest things to realize in the first place, that it is possible.

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Photo credit luke.sky.watcher – find this and other amazing shots on his instagram site @luke.sky.watcher

Growing up my mom often quoted Ralph Waldo Emerson’s saying,

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do,
not that the nature of the thing has changed
but that our power to do has increased.”

I think there were a few times in there where I may have rolled my eyes and silently quoted it along with her, but my mother – a saint by the way – didn’t give up. She knew something I didn’t – she knew that I could and would eventually learn and that I might need it one day.

There may be times it feels hard, impossible even. We may want to quit, rationalizing that we are on the wrong path, that maybe an easier course would be the answer to making our life balanced again. The best things in life are often the things we had to work the hardest for. Rarely is that precious item, moment or relationship simply handed to us. The ability to accept the things that are permanent while finding the strength to change the things that aren’t is where we conquer our life’s obstacles.

It can be tempting to think that because of our many mistakes or trials that we should give up. Maybe take it as a sign that we shouldn’t continue. But as Albert Einstein learned from continuous trail and error with his own obstacles, “A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.”

Any time we progress, we can look back and see a path lined with mistakes along the way. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. The important thing is that we get back up, brush ourselves off and try again.

When my son took off on his bike the first time, he tumbled and fell hard. I tried to catch him to prevent the fall, but didn’t get there in time. It took me a few weeks to convince him to get back on. Quite honestly I was worried if he didn’t learn now, he may never learn. It would be that obstacle in his past, always there to justify not taking on the next obstacle.

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But here we are, practicing every day, it’s started getting a little easier. He has learned to glide longer distances and is now practicing getting his feet up on the peddles

And then he did it!

He took off, completely on his own. Balancing and peddling and NOT falling. I was speechless and a bit confused at first because when he came to a stop he began to cry. I ran to him knowing he hadn’t gotten hurt. As I held him in my arms I realized they were tears of relief and pride and happiness all wrapped up in one happy face. He had finally realized he could do something hard. He overcame what seemed like an insurmountable obstacle and here he was standing on top. I couldn’t help myself as I realized what was happening, I tried to fight off the tears at first and then just gave in. We stood there hugging and crying, I knew he would remember this for the rest of his life,

the day he realized he could overcome what felt like the impossible.

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