Setting children up to succeed rather than requiring constant discipline will have the most impact on improving behavior. Helping a child avoid unpredictable or undesirable behavior in the first place is key.

Today I want to discuss how to build the foundation for good behavior to thrive. There are many effective behavior techniques out there, but the best chance for success depends on if these three areas are in check first.

As a Behavior Coach I regularly see unexpected and difficult behaviors. Kids acting out in ways that don’t make sense, refusing to reason. It can be difficult and frustrating to figure out why kids make the decisions they do.

As I’ve gained experience with my own kids and with those I work with, I’ve begun to see a running trend. Here is the short list to creating a foundation for success in childhood behavior.

Reducing Screen Time to Increase Good Behavior

There are many educational ways to use screen time. Like most tools though, screen time needs boundaries and limits to be most effective.

Dr Nicole Beurkins observes, “Kids can quickly become overstimulated from screen time without realizing it, which leads to worse moods, more anxiety, higher levels of irritability, and poor behavior. … Children using devices for more than 2 hours per day have increased risk of depression, and that risk rises as screen time increases.”

Screen time right before bed, or using screen time to fall asleep also keeps the brain activated, making it hard to fall into deep sleep and to stay asleep. Since children need more sleep than adults, even a half hour of lost sleep can negatively impact behavior.

Too much screen time also diminishes creativity and problem solving, which is increasingly becoming one of the skills employers search for most.

Screen Time Tips

Set a timer so your child knows they have the same amount every time, you’re not just randomly turning it off.

Set up ways for them to earn time on the screen like, cleaning their room, doing homework and feeding the dog.

Establish a no-screen-time-zone to encourage outside play and creative problem solving. Protect free play, this is where children practice what they’ve learned. Free play develops the brain in ways a classroom can’t.

Look for options to give screen time a break. Go exploring in nature, visit the museum. Encourage opportunities for face-to-face interactions with peers and adults.

Good Behavior is Reinforced by Creating Routines

Having a routine, regularly followed actions or pattern, helps reduce stress in children. By having a normal routine in life, your brain has the opportunity to take a break, which it needs. If there is no routine, the brain is constantly having to be “on” and solve the problem.

• Routines can help children understand time and time management.
• Routines can help children get used to having chores.
• Routines can establish important habits such as brushing teeth and hair.
• Routines can strengthen relationships by focusing on time together.

Routine Tips

If for example there is no bedtime routine, though the child may insist they are not tired, the brain is constantly wondering when bedtime will come. It creates a constant stress that is always taking up brain power.

With a routine for bedtime, the body has a chance to start preparing for sleep and be ready to fall asleep when the time comes. One way to decide on a good bedtime is to notice when your child begins to show signs of being tired. Such as, yawning, rubbing eyes, getting cranky, fighting or becoming overly silly.

Then begin to get your child ready for bed a half hour before they start to show tired signs. A happy tired kid is easier to get to bed than an over tired, and cranky kid.

Follow a pattern that will begin to give cues to the brain it’s time to sleep as close to the same time and in the dane way as possible. The brain loves routine and will begin releasing the sleeping hormone melatonin in time to be sleepy for bedtime.

A pattern may be, getting on pj’s, brushing teeth, reading a story and being tucked into bed.

For a routine to work well, it needs to be followed. To have a positive effect on children’s behavior it needs to be a routine that fills a need, want or responsibility of the child. Routines around meal time, play time, bed time and chores help reduce stress by giving the brain a break.

A routine can also help take away the stress of chores or other possibly, undesirable activities. If it’s part of the pattern and something that has already been discussed, you’ll find much less arguments. Obstacles such as putting away the dishes or picking up the toys before the TV is turned on stop being a daily argument when it is calmly and regularly expected- it becomes routine.

Improving Quality of Sleep Greatly Impacts Good Behavior

You’ve probably noticed sleep has already been mentioned in both screen time and routine. In this case the best, really has been saved for last.

Aside from mental and physical concerns that can have a large impact on behavior, lack of sleep is often the number one culprit to poor behavior. Which is a major reason why the above two are on this list, they make a significant impact on how well a child sleeps.

After completely, unexpected behaviors, I’ve just started asking kids, what time did you go to bed last night or how did you sleep? About 80% of the time there has been a serious problem with their sleep the night before. Anywhere from coming across a scary movie without parents knowledge, to simply staying up to 3 in the morning playing video games.
Sleep or lack of sleep can greatly impact the behaviors of children.

Dr Dean Beebe, says, “Inadequate sleep – whether too short or poor quality – causes specific changes in mood and thinking.

This makes it difficult to reason, or to be patient and kind. In fact many people don’t even recognize sleep deprivation in children because symptoms for lack of sleep can be very different than in adults.

If your child is experiencing 2-3 from the list below, they need more sleep. Once sleep problems are corrected other behavior improvement strategies are more effective.

Some kids have a hard time sleeping, even if screen time has been adjusted and there is an established healthy routine. These sleep tips and solutions may be worth giving a try.

Sleep Tips

Use white noise to decrease outside and inside noises. This can be a fan turned to the corner to keep the room from getting too cold.

Try a white noise maker. I’ve tried both of these and they work great. One white noise maker has recorded sound, the other has an actual fan inside that creates constant, natural white noise.
Try a stretch sheet. I knew these were around for a while before I tried it, but they’re kind of pricey. They work well for kids who have a hard time settling down or who toss and turn. I finally, after years, bought one for our teenager.

He has always tossed and turned, but was a happy kid so I thought, it was fine. When he started hitting major growth spurts it wasn’t working anymore. He was constantly tired and showing signs of depression. When I asked how he was, he would say, “tired.” We finally made the plunge and bought the sheet.

He immediately, as in the next morning, said he had slept well. When he came home from school he talked about things going on at school instead of how tired he was. It’s now been several weeks and he continues to have enough sleep. It was worth it.

Other important strategies to improve sleep we have already discussed, but deserve repetition. Screen time, create a routine where something else happens a half hour before bed instead of an electronic device. Read a story, play a calm down game, snuggle in bed.

Remove TV’s from the bedroom. Falling asleep to the TV keeps your brain from shutting down. Though it may seem like an easy way to get a child to sleep, it doesn’t keep them asleep or create restful sleep.

What do you do to increase sleep?

How have you monitored screen time?

What routines keep your children in a good place?

Share below so we can all benefit from your experience and have a marvelous weekend. 😊