A few months ago I was having a conversation with a co-worker about how to correct a child’s behavior within the program. During the conversation I used the word discipline. She shrunk when I used the word and quickly changed the subject.

I was surprised and intrigued, discipline had become a dirty word. The definition is still the same, but the connotation in our society has changed.

What is Discipline

Discipline can be looked at in two different ways as defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

(1) control gained by enforcing obedience or order

(2) orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior

The first definition is compliance enforced by external powers: Parents, teachers or the government. The second is compliance controlled and enforced internally by ourselves.

The first definition is still not wrong or bad – but this is where our culture has begun to replace the feeling of the word. Instead of seeing discipline as a way to teach and correct, we often see it as a way to abuse.

How Abuse is Different Than Discipline

The definition of abuse

(1) a corrupt practice or custom.

(2) excessive use or treatment

(3) language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily – verbal abuse

(4) physical maltreatment – child abuse, sexual abuse

As you look at the different definitions you can see how the first two lead to the second two. The first two, corrupt or excessive, take what discipline should be and misuse it. When discipline is misused it stops being discipline (a teaching moment) and becomes abuse.

This is where we need to start having a discussion in society. We can all agree that abuse is bad. The problem is agreeing on what abuse is.

For example…

Legally if it leaves a mark it is abuse. Which I personally agree with.

When it comes to being home alone, some states dictate very specific ages in which you can start giving children autonomy.

Others states have chosen to let the parent decide when a child is responsible enough by protecting what is now being called “free range” parenting.

We used to have “time out” to encourage time for a child to think instead of being hit as punishment, but even that is starting to be seen as abuse.

The truth is, anything can become abuse when it becomes corrupt or excessive.

As a result we have people who are afraid to act at all in the betterment of child behavior.

Where has Our Fear of Discipline Led Us?

We have parents afraid to reign in their children’s behaviors, teachers who feel they have no rights to bring control to the classroom and the government placed with the final choice of penalties and imprisonment.

We can and should teach children how to control their behaviors. This is called discipline.

Discipline with Love

It is vital that we discipline our own passions, so that when we discipline a child it is out of love meant as a teaching moment. Discipline doesn’t always means punishment or consequence and it never means abuse.

If we can view our roles as an opportunity to teach, we will conquer the largest hurdle of possible abuse. We will help a child have a better life by helping them learn to control themselves. It will bless their lives into adulthood.

5 Ways to Implement Good Discipline

• Calm down

  Let them know you will discuss the consequence with them in five minutes.

• Give yourself time

  Good parenting or teaching does not mean you have to react immediately. Allow yourself time to decide on a just consequence. It is ok to point out the child’s action was not ok and you will be thinking of a way for them to fix the problem.

• Give consequences you can and should follow through with

  Nothing is more confusing than having irrational threats yelled at you. As in, “I’m going kick you into next week.” Not only should you not do this, you can’t. Practice giving consequences you can follow through with and that you wouldn’t regret the next day.

• Be consistent in expectations and reactions to behavior

  Work on talking first. If needed calm down and give yourself time to regroup. Remind yourself this is a learning opportunity for your child. You are correcting them for their benefit. Somethings you can and should ignore, pick your battles so to speak. If anger is building up inside, address the issue to avoid randomly blowing up about things you previously let go.

• Discuss with the child what happened that was unexpected

  This is the learning opportunity. Believe it or not, children don’t always know why we got so mad. Still even if you kept your cool and told them to go think about what they did, a child will need help to regroup and process what did happen and how it could have turned out differently. As the adult in a child’s life we can be the link to help them understand how to improve things next time.

Thanks for reading, you may also be interested in 3 Ways to Increase Good Behavior in Children and The Art of Saying Yes.

Please leave a comment, I’d love to read your thoughts.

Also like and subscribe.

The post How Discipline Became a Dirty Word: 5 Ways to Correct Children’s Behavior appeared first on This Homemade Home.

Is that really true? Could video games really get kids outside? Not just an exercise video game, but truly outside?

This is how we got our kids voluntarily going outside because of video games. If you want to read the full history and cultural norms that let us on this situation, read more here.

Video Game Acceptance

I hated video games (full story in the link above) and vowed to never get them, but times change and we found ourselves looking for a lightly used Wii. Used because we are hard core financial thrifters. It just doesn’t make sense to buy some things new – video gaming consoles being one of them.

Or maybe just because I hate video games and the cost had to be very low for us to be enticed.

It was important that our kids had boundaries with the technology. That they understood its potential for addiction.

Household Video Games Rules

We played around with different rules. The kids already liked to read and we wanted to keep it an enjoyable, voluntary pass time.

We had time restraints where they could only turn it on after a certain time of day. This rule was in hopes that they would play with each other and develop strong relationships. There always seemed to be a reason for them to want to play outside of those parameters, it’s a weekend, a friend is over that hasn’t played it etc. I felt like I was constantly making decisions.

It should be more streamlined right? I don’t want to keep making decisions on top of my decisions.

The Outside Video Game Rule

That is when I came up with the outside rule. For every half hour they were outside they got 15 minutes of game time.

It didn’t matter what they did, it just needed to be outside. They started playing with their dog on the lawn. Taking her for walks and lounging in the sun.

The kids then conserved their earned time to play at just the right time of night. Even after they come in, they still play with each other first.

Video Games Can be Used for Good

It has been a complete shock to me, they seem happier and are developing delayed gratification at the same time.

You may be wondering why I had to encourage them to go outside in the first place. The story can be found here.

What are your gaming rules?

Until next time,

Natalie

The post Video Games Got My Kids Outside appeared first on This Homemade Home.

It seems strange right? How could video games get kids outside? Growing up I hated video games. I grew up in the era of Atari and Nintendo. Up until 1985 (when Nintendo made their first home system) kids played outside it was a lot more fun than being inside.

I learned to tie my shoes just so I could go outside. That’s where all the kids were. Shoe tieing was my mom’s insentive plan.

Outside we made bows and arrows out of hay bail twine, climbed trees, made forts, peeked in birds nests and mastered the art of riding a bike without using our hands. It was a never ending adventure.

Kids Stopped Going Outside

In 1985 the kids next door got a Nintendo and my world changed. No one went outside anymore. I begged and they would decline without even looking up, eyes glued to the screen.

This wasn’t just my life, it happened everywhere. Video games, TV shows, and the constant flow of new Tech made it increasingly easier to keep kids entertained inside.

In fact, gaming is now a diagnosable addiction, with therapy groups and detox centers. Video game usage went up and time spent outside went down.

It became Rare to See Kids outside

Technology made it easier to not be outside. Maybe parents also became scared and stopped letting their kids outside because they knew about all the horrible stuff happening around the globe. I think it was probably a combination of both.

Society Became Suspicious When Kids Were Outside

Parents have been criticized for being too protective by some and not protective enough by others.

Like this Maryland couple, “accused of child neglect for letting their kids roam around their neighborhood.” Meaning, a 10 and 6 year old walked to the park in their neighborhood.

!! Right, I read this too my 11 year old and she was incredulous and insulted.

Here is my personal experience,

Why My Children Went Outside Less

A few years ago I went on a bike ride with my children on a quiet neighborhood street. Two on their own bikes, two pulled in a bike trailer.

A police officer pulled up next to us and slowly drove by, eyeing me like I was doing something wrong. True, not many people have four children, but I had better adult-to-child ratio than most daycares.

It was rare to see someone out with so many (four) children. It just isn’t common, so I was viewed suspiciously.

And also this

While at a grocery store I went to return my cart, about 4 car lengths away from where I was parked. A cute old woman asked if she could have my cart.

Now this grocery store has you put a quarter in the cart to unlock it. Even though it’s just a quarter there are never stray carts in the Aldi parking lot. People will walk a few yards to save the quarter for next time.

I passed the cart over to the nice old woman and began to walk away. She called me back, insisting she pay me. It was an over cast day, the sun was setting, the temperature maybe 40°. I determined my children would be just fine in the car while I wait.

The woman, no joke, payed me in pennies!

And just like in the movies, she put them in my hand one at a time. So it took a little while, like maybe 4 minutes – but when 25 pennies are being painstakingly placed in your hand – time goes a LOT slower.

By the time I got back to my car, remember about 4 minutes later, a woman I knew and her teenagers were staring angrily at me and my vehicle.

She slammed her door and hissed, “YOU left your children alone in the car!”

Surprised I said, “Well yes, I was returning my cart.” I was sure she would understand. Instead, she huffed and stomped away.

When parents are criticized for being over protective we need to stop and wonder why. The pressure is great my friends. Society is pressuring us to hyper-parent, believing it will be safer.

When I decide to give my children more autonomy I actually worry more about what “well intended” citizens are going to do, than what criminals are going to do. Though, I assure you I take creepy people into consideration while making decisions.

Video Game Use Stats

As I researched graphs and data I actually found several sources showing that as video game sales went up, the number of violent crimes went down.

Now data, can say what you want it to say depending on how you look at it. What I saw – people were no longer outside in society to do crimes, they were shooting behind a screen.

The data also clearly was pointing out violent crime incidents, not deaths total. We have definitely seen an increase in mass shootings, but a decrease in total individual crimes. So less people doing crimes yet more people doing insanely deadly crimes.

So why did we decide to get a gaming console?

Kids Go Where the Video Games Are

A woman with several teenagers once told me she was also weary of video games, but found her kids went where the games were. They still played video games and on top of that, games she couldn’t control. We’re they violent, were they risky? She didn’t know the kids weren’t in her home.

So they bought a gaming console.

As our kids got older we started to see a similar trend and decided to join the gaming community. We wanted to have more control of what was being played. We wanted our children to have a safe place to hang with their friends. And we wanted to set rules that would protect their brains from the very real gaming addiction.

The Video Gaming Rule That Got Our Kids Outside

The whole purpose of our video game rules were to avoid gaming addiction, promotes healthy relationships and development real world problem solving skills. You can read more about our gaming rules here.

The one that got our kids outside was simply that, we tied gaming to time spent outdoors. For every half hour outside they got 15 minutes game time.

You may be wondering, why weren’t your kids outside anyway? And… I don’t know – I’m guessing much of it had to do with the several things discussed above.

• There weren’t other kids outside
• There is pressure from others to not be outside
• The parks are empty
• There are no pick up games, it’s all organized sports now

The list could go on and on. What I do know is my kids started going outside voluntarily once I tied it to video games.

I hope they continue to discover the natural wonder and adventure of the outdoors – I’m only getting started.

Are you a gamer? What to you do for balance?

What do you do to get your kids independently outdoors?

Than you for stopping by. To continue receiving the newest Homemade Home post remember to like and subscribe!

See you next time!

Natalie

The post Video Games Got My Kids Outside: the whole story appeared first on This Homemade Home.

There are many phases we go through to become who we are. The eternal wrestle between nature and nurture tug at our behaviors and mind. The home we grew up in, the opportunities we had and the genetics we were born with all playing a role.

But what about us? What about our choice in it all?

I may have opportunities, but choose not to take them or I may have very few opportunities, yet carve out my own path. Who is that person deep inside choosing who I become?

Living Away From Home

In my early twenties I traveled the country living in different sub-cultures, among various religious or non- religious people. I lived among poor and rich. People with many children and people who wanted no children at all.

It is interesting to see how sculpted we can become by the immediate culture that surrounds us.

However, there are also the heroing stories of those who “overcame the odds,” breaking the chains that insisted a person think or act a certain way. How can we over come? How can we have a choice?

A Social Experiment

Each time we moved I decided to share some parts of my personality and not others. It was an experiment to see how others would treat me depending on what they saw.

When I offered free hair cuts and told people I knew how to cut my own hair, I was viewed more as a high maintenance individual.

As an artist I was viewed as creative and the go to person for art related topics, but probably not reliable.

As a home renovator – I was kind of surprised by this one. I was seen as someone with a lazy husband, who had to do it myself because I couldn’t get him to do it. The truth is we were both working on it, but I happened to like power tools, which made some women nervous and suspicious.

As a full time Mental Health Professional I was seen and treated with authority. As a part time metal health paraprofessional I was treated like a warm body.

What I Learned from My Experience

What people see in us at that moment, in no way determines who we are.

The truth is, I was all of these things and cabable of becoming much more. In order for me to choose who I would become and resist the pressure to merrily be sculpted by my immediate culture, I had to keep a mental picture of who I wanted to be.

People Change

Several years ago I shared a study on social media with the words “Wow, I sure hope so.”

It stated, “Science says that we are completely different people at age 77 as opposed to age 14.”

I didn’t, and still don’t want to remain, the same person I was when I was 14. I had different outlooks on life, views of people, different goals. I’m really glad I could change and improve on that individual.

But it made some people very upset. Daniel Gilbert, the research Psychologist at Harvard University, pointed out,

“Is it really the case that we all think that development is a process that’s brought us to this particular moment in time, and now we’re pretty much done?”

From some of the comments I recieved and the arguments that ensued, it seemed some people do want to get to a point where, ‘we’re pretty much done.’

Maybe it means we can relax, because we’ve finally arrived. Or maybe it allows us to push the blame of who we are, onto someone or something else.

Taking Responsibility For Ourselves

Now I know I’m going out on a limb here and may possibly offend others, but I’m going to risk it.

In order to have the option to change and improve, we have to accept responsibility for ourselves.

This doesn’t mean that the actions of another didn’t impact our choices, they often did. It means that if we really want to overcome pain or an annoying habit, we have to put the power back into our own hands.

We have to take the first step and say, “that really hurt, I’m mad – but I want a better life than what that person or circumstance says I can have.”

In order to make a change for the better, we need to see where we want to be. We need to believe we can change. Sometimes it means we need to forgive ourselves or others.

An Epiphany : Try Even When No One’s Watching

When I was in my pre-teen years, there was an incident where I became very angry with my parents. Shocker right?

I worked hard to get good grades because it was the only way I could see to change my future. We were poor and had few opportunities. I wanted a different life. I had a reason to try.

One of my sisters struggled in school and my parents wanted her to find a reason to try as well. This particular occasion, she got a C and they took her out to eat to help motivate her and celebrate.

I had gotten all A’s if not straight A’s and received no acknowledgement. I was mad….beyond mad.

When they headed out to the restaurant, I walked down to my thinking spot and brooded. I wasn’t getting good grades to please my parents, but it would be nice if they at least cared.

After some time feeling bad for myself, I came up with a brilliant, pre-teen, passive-aggressive response – I would start failing my classes.

I would hurt them, like they hurt me. I began to get really excited, this could work, I would show them.

Then a simple thought somehow made it’s way into my angry, hormonal mind –

“You will hurt your parents, but you will hurt yourself even more.”

Shocked by the simplicity of this apparent truth, I stopped and considered my life. If I truly wanted to make it out, I had to succeed even if no one else around me cared. Even if those around me might prefer I fail.

Not saying my parents wanted me to fail. Most likely they were so focused on how to get my sister to succeed they figured I didn’t need anything and they were probably overwhelmed. I could blame my failure on them or I could change my stars, accept responsibility and succeed or at least try.

Choosing Where You’re Planted

A few years later, some youth leaders introduced this whole, “Bloom Where You’re Planted, ” theme.

I think they were trying to say, ‘Make the most of where you are now.’ But I got hung up on the word ‘Planted’ – it seemed so permanent and unchangable. I hated the theme. When I they talked about it, I felt like they were looking right at me.

From then on I did everything I could to replant my life. If I needed to be planted it was going to be where I chose.

Allowing Your Head and Your Heart to Say Their Piece

Before I married, a co-worker of mine shared her engagement story. They had met through a mutual friend and ended up dating for a while.

Then in a tone of defeat, she sighed, “… and I fell in love.”

… and, AND! Bursting inside,

I waited… Just silence.

She was going to marry this guy – because she fell in love, even though her brain was screaming not to.

Her story introduced a new concept –

It is possible to love someone you shouldn’t marry. You don’t have to do everything your heart demands. A wise choice is made with the heart and the head.

Conclusion

Hopefully these three experiences give a little insight into why I personally believe in change. I want to have power to change or I am forever at the mercy of other people or circumstances.

There is freedom in believing you can become the person you want to be.

How about you? Do you like the idea of change or do you like the idea of arriving at permanence?

– are you mad at me? I hope not. Either way I wish you the very best in every way.

The post Choosing Who I Will Be appeared first on This Homemade Home.

Setting children up to succeed rather than requiring constant discipline will have the most impact on improving behavior. Helping a child avoid unpredictable or undesirable behavior in the first place is key.

Today I want to discuss how to build the foundation for good behavior to thrive. There are many effective behavior techniques out there, but the best chance for success depends on if these three areas are in check first.

As a Behavior Coach I regularly see unexpected and difficult behaviors. Kids acting out in ways that don’t make sense, refusing to reason. It can be difficult and frustrating to figure out why kids make the decisions they do.

As I’ve gained experience with my own kids and with those I work with, I’ve begun to see a running trend. Here is the short list to creating a foundation for success in childhood behavior.

Reducing Screen Time to Increase Good Behavior

There are many educational ways to use screen time. Like most tools though, screen time needs boundaries and limits to be most effective.

Dr Nicole Beurkins observes, “Kids can quickly become overstimulated from screen time without realizing it, which leads to worse moods, more anxiety, higher levels of irritability, and poor behavior. … Children using devices for more than 2 hours per day have increased risk of depression, and that risk rises as screen time increases.”

Screen time right before bed, or using screen time to fall asleep also keeps the brain activated, making it hard to fall into deep sleep and to stay asleep. Since children need more sleep than adults, even a half hour of lost sleep can negatively impact behavior.

Too much screen time also diminishes creativity and problem solving, which is increasingly becoming one of the skills employers search for most.

Screen Time Tips

Set a timer so your child knows they have the same amount every time, you’re not just randomly turning it off.

Set up ways for them to earn time on the screen like, cleaning their room, doing homework and feeding the dog.

Establish a no-screen-time-zone to encourage outside play and creative problem solving. Protect free play, this is where children practice what they’ve learned. Free play develops the brain in ways a classroom can’t.

Look for options to give screen time a break. Go exploring in nature, visit the museum. Encourage opportunities for face-to-face interactions with peers and adults.

Good Behavior is Reinforced by Creating Routines

Having a routine, regularly followed actions or pattern, helps reduce stress in children. By having a normal routine in life, your brain has the opportunity to take a break, which it needs. If there is no routine, the brain is constantly having to be “on” and solve the problem.

• Routines can help children understand time and time management.
• Routines can help children get used to having chores.
• Routines can establish important habits such as brushing teeth and hair.
• Routines can strengthen relationships by focusing on time together.

Routine Tips

If for example there is no bedtime routine, though the child may insist they are not tired, the brain is constantly wondering when bedtime will come. It creates a constant stress that is always taking up brain power.

With a routine for bedtime, the body has a chance to start preparing for sleep and be ready to fall asleep when the time comes. One way to decide on a good bedtime is to notice when your child begins to show signs of being tired. Such as, yawning, rubbing eyes, getting cranky, fighting or becoming overly silly.

Then begin to get your child ready for bed a half hour before they start to show tired signs. A happy tired kid is easier to get to bed than an over tired, and cranky kid.

Follow a pattern that will begin to give cues to the brain it’s time to sleep as close to the same time and in the dane way as possible. The brain loves routine and will begin releasing the sleeping hormone melatonin in time to be sleepy for bedtime.

A pattern may be, getting on pj’s, brushing teeth, reading a story and being tucked into bed.

For a routine to work well, it needs to be followed. To have a positive effect on children’s behavior it needs to be a routine that fills a need, want or responsibility of the child. Routines around meal time, play time, bed time and chores help reduce stress by giving the brain a break.

A routine can also help take away the stress of chores or other possibly, undesirable activities. If it’s part of the pattern and something that has already been discussed, you’ll find much less arguments. Obstacles such as putting away the dishes or picking up the toys before the TV is turned on stop being a daily argument when it is calmly and regularly expected- it becomes routine.

Improving Quality of Sleep Greatly Impacts Good Behavior

You’ve probably noticed sleep has already been mentioned in both screen time and routine. In this case the best, really has been saved for last.

Aside from mental and physical concerns that can have a large impact on behavior, lack of sleep is often the number one culprit to poor behavior. Which is a major reason why the above two are on this list, they make a significant impact on how well a child sleeps.

After completely, unexpected behaviors, I’ve just started asking kids, what time did you go to bed last night or how did you sleep? About 80% of the time there has been a serious problem with their sleep the night before. Anywhere from coming across a scary movie without parents knowledge, to simply staying up to 3 in the morning playing video games.
Sleep or lack of sleep can greatly impact the behaviors of children.

Dr Dean Beebe, says, “Inadequate sleep – whether too short or poor quality – causes specific changes in mood and thinking.

This makes it difficult to reason, or to be patient and kind. In fact many people don’t even recognize sleep deprivation in children because symptoms for lack of sleep can be very different than in adults.

If your child is experiencing 2-3 from the list below, they need more sleep. Once sleep problems are corrected other behavior improvement strategies are more effective.

Some kids have a hard time sleeping, even if screen time has been adjusted and there is an established healthy routine. These sleep tips and solutions may be worth giving a try.

Sleep Tips

Use white noise to decrease outside and inside noises. This can be a fan turned to the corner to keep the room from getting too cold.

Try a white noise maker. I’ve tried both of these and they work great. One white noise maker has recorded sound, the other has an actual fan inside that creates constant, natural white noise.
Try a stretch sheet. I knew these were around for a while before I tried it, but they’re kind of pricey. They work well for kids who have a hard time settling down or who toss and turn. I finally, after years, bought one for our teenager.

He has always tossed and turned, but was a happy kid so I thought, it was fine. When he started hitting major growth spurts it wasn’t working anymore. He was constantly tired and showing signs of depression. When I asked how he was, he would say, “tired.” We finally made the plunge and bought the sheet.

He immediately, as in the next morning, said he had slept well. When he came home from school he talked about things going on at school instead of how tired he was. It’s now been several weeks and he continues to have enough sleep. It was worth it.

Other important strategies to improve sleep we have already discussed, but deserve repetition. Screen time, create a routine where something else happens a half hour before bed instead of an electronic device. Read a story, play a calm down game, snuggle in bed.

Remove TV’s from the bedroom. Falling asleep to the TV keeps your brain from shutting down. Though it may seem like an easy way to get a child to sleep, it doesn’t keep them asleep or create restful sleep.

What do you do to increase sleep?

How have you monitored screen time?

What routines keep your children in a good place?

Share below so we can all benefit from your experience and have a marvelous weekend.

The post 3 Ways to Increase Good Behavior in Children appeared first on This Homemade Home.

There is something magical about Candy. If a game is a bit boring, add candy and voila! It’s now a family favorite.

Which is exactly what happened to us.

When we decided play Candyland with real candy it quickly became a family tradition. You may have already read about our Candland tradition, along with our other favorite Christmas pass times.

Once I introduced this idea for Candyland, our children wanted to play with real candy all the time.

We found we needed some house rules to turn Candyland into the coolest cooperative game ever known to man.

These simple rules made the game play more smoothly, encouraging everyone along the path to King Candy.

Items Needed To Get Started

affiliate links in this article are meant to create quick, easy purchases for you. I will make a small percentage on items sold at no additional cost to you.

Candyland game – we have the 2002 edition, other versions may use different candy stops

Gingerbread people – for the gingerbread tree.

Peppermint (or candy canes) – for Mr Mint

Gum drops (or fruit snacks) – for Gum Drop pass

Licorice – for Lord Licorice

PB cookies or candy – for Gramma Nutts

Lolly pops – for the Lolly Pop Forest

Frosted animal crackers or mints – for Princess Frostine

Chocolate for Gloppy in the chocolate swamp

M&M’s for King Candy’s finish line.

Why Candyland House Rules

This year when we played I realized I needed to share our ground rules. If you try out the Candyland tradition I want you to experience the game in its full glory. These additional rules keep things sane and fun.

How to Create Candyland Anticipation

Only do it once a year – for two reasons, scarcity- it keeps it special and reason two – time, who has the time to constantly get all the right candies? Am I right? Just tell your kids it’s for their own good, you love them so much you want to keep some traditions special.

No Hard Feelings or Whining

Start with the reminder that no one gets upset. Since this is for fun and to bond as a family, being upset kind of ruins it if anyone is whining. A simple reminder usually gets everyone on the same page, kids and adults.

Candy at Every Stop

One piece of candy for passing the candy image and two pieces if you land right on it. If you get sent back all the more time to gather candy.

Candyland Time Limit

Set a time limit, like 10 minutes, 15 if you’re brave. Remember, it’s still a simple game and kids start to get anxious about getting to the top where the M&M’s and stack of chocolate sticks are. A time limit helps kids stay focused.

How to Split up the Leftovers After a Game of Candyland

Setting a time limit means there’s usually still candy on the board. We split up the rest by taking turns one piece at a time (usually trying to go as fast as we can) until its all gone. This way players get to take the candies they like most and the game ends on a high note.

Pre – game set up

Gingerbread men

Since I’m pretty passionate about this whole candy authenticity thing , we usually make gingerbread men earlier (like the week before). Then save some for gingerbread houses and some for the game.

Because you need to something to collect when you pass the gingerbread tree, it’s important.

Peanut butter candy

We make peanut butter candy for the Gramma Nutt stop. You can also just purchase or make peanut butter cookies.

The rest

Any other Candyland bliss, I buy at the store or you can following the affiliate links above for easy purchases.

Have a great time playing and Merry Christmas!

The post Candyland (with real candy) House Rules appeared first on This Homemade Home.

Book review on the new book from Life it or Not Blogger Sarah Leigh

How to Create a Kick A** Blog

I had the wonderful opportunity to review Sarah’s new book this month. Though my husband has blogged for years and has been showing me the ropes, I was surprised at how much I didn’t know. Sarah shares so many useful techniques in her book.

The amazing thing is she went from 0 views a day to 200-400 a day within a month. Which I admit spiked my interest. I really believe Sarah has done so well because she has a compelling story and blog that touches others AND she has done an amazing amount of research on blogging. She discusses how she implemented her blog research and how to do it best. You can read all about it in her book. It has been very useful as I am learning the ropes to get my blog up and running.

A few of Sarah’s great blog posts to check out.

I particularly liked the part about finding your target audience, which Sarah has also included useful questions to help you discover your target audience, the people you are writing for.

There was helpful information on different platforms I could use to host my site. Though I had already picked one by this point, it was useful to read through the options and make sure I had what worked best for me.
There is also great information for mapping out who you are and what your blog has to offer others – important if you want people to keep reading.

All in all I’d say this book is well written, researched and worth the read. Sit down with a pen and paper, you’ll want to take notes.

More great articles from lifeitornot.com

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Traditions can be the perfect glue that brings families together during the holidays. Providing anticipation in a mutually enjoyed event and peace in a well refined routine.

The best way to make traditions that fit the role of bringing loved ones together, is first to pick events that everyone enjoys (for the most part) and second the understanding that traditions can outlive their usefulness. There may come a time that you need to lay a well loved tradition to rest, but it’s ok, you can pick others that fit your new situation in life and move forward.

Today I want to share our well loved Christmas traditions in case you are looking for something else to add or try. Please don’t feel like you should do all or any of them. But I hope you will find something that inspires a family gathering.

Ours basically revolves around the advent calendar and started with the desire to not have everything be candy or a toy. I began to look for events or activities that the kids could open and be excited for.

The Christmas pajamas

We switched up the well loved tradition of pj’s on Christmas Eve and started giving them the first day of December instead. I mean kids grow fast and they need pj’s, I want them to wear Christmas themed for at least a month before it’s out of season (who am I kidding, they wear them all year anyway ).

Seeing Santa

This has required alot of flexibility through moving and kids getting older. While we have spent our time in long, insane lines, we have found it really adds to holiday angst and definitely does not increase family bonding. If we see a long Santa line we run the other way.

Thankfully we have found a beautiful old frontier Christmas near by with a quick visit to Santa, handbell choir or orchestra and serving of hot chocolate, every member of our family is happy.

I absolutely love it!

This year the park also told Christmas stories by the fire in an old frontier cabin. It was a perfect way to start off the season.

Gingerbread cookies

I spent a number of years being frustrated with my kids for playing with the cookie dough and making it tough. By reminding myself why we have traditions, I decided to give each child their own portion of dough and let them create to their hearts content. I reserved a portion for myself to make nice soft cookies. All frustration is gone and cookie making is fun for everyone.

There are a few community events we let come and go depending on our desire to leave the house. These range anywhere from art projects at the museum to hearing Handel’ s Messiah. My advice here, make sure traditions aren’t causing more stress by purposefully leave room to let some things slide.

Candy Land with real candy

While this was my brain child, can I really take credit for something that is practically begging to be done? It’s called Candyland for a reason and has been one of our absolute favorites. I track down all the candy one might pass on their way to King Candy and place it on the board, we all take turns collecting gingerbread men, PB cookies, candy canes, chocolate, gum drops, twizzlers, mints, lolly pops and M&M’s.

You can find the Candyland – with real candy – Ground Rules here.

Ride the Polar Express

This is the easiest, and newest tradition. I don’t know how long it will stay, but for now it’s a winner. When the kids open the advent calendar they each get a ticket to ride the Polar Express. Our son has seriously taken his ticket to school in his pocket and kept it with him all day, to make sure it doesn’t get lost. Add a hot chocolate bar and you are the most awesome parents around.

My husband makes the tickets and punches them once the movie begins.

Visit a Live Nativity

Many year ago, we were invited to attend a live nativity. It turned out we were the last car before a shift change and everyone slowly walked behind our car as we passed. We figured they were just changing shifts, but it felt like we were being surrounded by zombies. It was so funny we’ve kept going.

Of course with the move we couldn’t find a live one near by, but we did find a Creche exhibit that is nice and I enjoy seeing all the different art forms.

Gingerbread houses

If you’ve read my other posts, you may know we save the over abundance of our kids’ Halloween candy to make gingerbread houses. I love this for two reasons, the kids still get candy, just not at much and it saves money.

Win win.

See the lights

While driving around to see the lights we found it was easier to keep our kids focused and enjoying the lights if they had a goal. So before we start we let everyone pick which lit up item they are going to count, with the goal being to pick the item that has the most that year. It might be snow flakes, Santa Clause or candy canes. It makes it very exciting as all the kids are searching for their item.

Family nativity re-enactment

This has been one of my favorites, especially when the kids were younger. I’m a little sad that this may be one we outgrow soon, it doesn’t seem to be as tender when the older kids are acting it out. They are more silly and it’s best to just read the story by that point.

Homemade presents

Also one of my favorites because we love to make things. We each draw a family member’s name and make a gift for them. The gifts are usually very creative and the first to be opened Christmas morning. Go here for more homemade present ideas.

Illustrated Nativity Book

This one doesn’t happen every year, just when we feel like it, but the kids love to see how their art work has progressed. We write a simple story of Christ being born and let the kids illustrate each page. We then laminate pages, give it an official cover etc. and gift copies to grandparents.

I’m sure as the years pass we’ll add a few more traditions to replace the ones that need to go. But for the time being, I’m loving where we’re at.

Please share some of your well loved traditions. Or what is a tradition you’ve always wanted to try?

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Stores know that once your wallet is open it’s alot easier to spend. Over the last few years we’ve seen advertising tactics to start the spending craze earlier and keep it going longer.

But there are steps we can implement to help slow the spending craze and have a better chance at buying what we do need and leave the fluff on the shelf.

Stop to calculate the “deal”

Everyone loves a good deal and they are out there, but how do you know if it’s truly a bargain?

Calculating sales

You can bring a calculator along or do a quick calculation trick in your head.

10% is easy, it’s $1 out of $10 or $10 out of $100. So if it’s 70% off simply figure out the 10% and triple it (or 80% off double it). A $10 item @ 70% off would be $3.

BOGO

Often, if you compare to regular price it’s often not that great of a deal, in fact you may just be buying two items at regular price.

In and Out

Did you know stores play slower music and adjust lighting to create an ambiance in which you want to stay and shop and shop… and shop?

If you are there for one item, focus and get in and out. I actually experimented with going after a workout and leaving my upbeat music playing on my earbuds. I got done grocery shopping a half hour earlier.

Take time to think about your purchase

Businesses create a sense of urgency by holding weekend sales or giving store credit with expirations to get you to spend before you miss out.

Stop and think, do I really want this kicking around my house? Will my children play with this past Christmas morning?

Imagine if you bought it where would be its new permanent place in your home.

If you feel good about all your answers, by all means get that deal, but if not, it’s ok. A deal is only a deal it if it improves your life.

Early on in our marriage while looking for an apartment we came across a pushy apartment salesperson who said, if we wanted it at that price we had to sign today (we had wanted to look around before we committed). It was so off-putting to us that we walked away. We determined there and then that if it was really that good of a deal (especially if it was a large sum of money) we should be able to think about it.

Set some ground rules

If something doesn’t have a price or the price is unclear, decide before you ask the retailer, what price you would be willing to pay. If I think an item is worth $10 and they tell me $5 – done deal, I feel awesome. But if they say it’s $20, I’ve already decided, I don’t have to make a decision in front of them (and possibly end up buying it for too much money).

If you have a lot of door-to-door salespeople adopt the rule that you don’t make large financial decisions on the doorstep. If they really want your business they will let you think about it and call them back. This will give you time to calculate for example, how much solar panels would save you or cost you before you sign. (check out 5 Ways to Stay Warm and Save money energy savings post for quick and inexpensive ways to save)

My roommate’s parents lost their home to a mortgage refinancer that came to the door and convinced her elderly father to sign and refinance.

Remember the old, but true advice

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

Decide today to not let yourself be rushed into a good deal – if it’s truly a good deal, it will be there in the morning.

What shopping tricks do you use to find the real bargains?

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Each year my family draws each other’s names for Christmas. While we do have store bought gifts, these particular gifts are supposed to be handmade.

I wanted my kids to know the real spirit of giving and found it was easier to encourage them to give their time in making a present than it was earn money to buy a present.

As the years have gone by our kids (and ourselves) have really gotten into it.

Calendar or photobook

My favorites have been when my husband has made me a personalized calendar from shutterfly.com. They have deals constantly and are worth looking into. If they by chance aren’t having deals, Walgreens and Walmart let you make them for around $12.

Made from Felt

My next go-to for homemade presents is felt. It comes in a variety of colors and doesn’t unravel on the edges, making it easy to work with. You can either go with inexpensive 50¢ felt or get a more luxurious look with wool felt.

My Little Pony Castle

This is my newest homemade gift, the My Little Pony Castle playset. The pony buttons can be found at Walmart, Joanne’s or Amazon. I then attached each pony with rainbow ribbon. It folds up to make a convenient quiet book. Let me know if you’re interested and I can share my pattern.

Trolls Poppy and Branch

Last year I made Poppy and Branch out of felt. Felt is so easy to use and makes cute gifts.

Christmas Pajamas

Another great go-to is creating fun shirt and pj’s gifts (really anything made from cotton will work).

I stumbled across this idea years ago while teaching art at a family camp. A little boy had been using toll paint and unbeknownst to me or his mother, ended up getting some on his shirt. By the time she found it, the paint had dried. She came back to the art room begging for help and we had to tell her once it was dry it was permanent, which up to this point had been a bad thing. But I told her to leave the shirt and I’d see if I could match the colors and paint over it. I was able to fix the shirt and while I painted it I realized I should have been doing this all along.

Masking tape stencil

Here are some of the best examples we’ve done for our homemade Christmas presents. This is the masking tape technique. Use masking tape to create a “stencil”then paint over it

TV show Pysch

This particular gift is a throw back to the TV show Psych. My daughter has been working on this and is going to add the words,” I’ve heard it both ways. ”

Freestyle paint

Despicable Me, Gru and Minions

You can also freestyle paint it, which I used in our Despicable Me theme for the purple minion and masking tape for Gru’s scarf.

Freezer Paper Stencil

Another toll paint method is to cut your design out of freezer paper and iron (wax side down) onto your shirt. This also creates a stencil to paint on.

You can cut it with a Cricut, Shillouett machine or a razer.

At the time our son had been calling himself “the happy kid ” so I made him a smiley face shirt. So far I’ve noticed dark colored cotton shirts don’t absorb the toll paint as well. I’m guessing this is because the fibers already hold alot of pigment. Prewashing new shirts can help a little. Deep red shirts have been the least effective with holding onto paint.

Setting the paint in the shirt

Whichever technique you choose, cover the shirt with an old towel and iron the paint into the shirt. This helps set the paint (after it has dried) and makes it a permanent image. For all of my projects (except red shirts) the painting has become permanent and only fades with natural wear.

Weaving

Our older son learned how to make a bead bracelet. This picture gives an idea of the set up. There was not any DIY for this style on YouTube – which as you can tell is very simple and easy to do. I guess my son needs to make a video.

In the mean time you can check out a different DIY beadloom style here.

PVC Pipe toys

And of course there is PVC pipe. Whether you are making marshmallows shooters or lounging chairs, PVC pipe has endless possibilities. These were made by my boys for each other last year.

Copper wire doll furniture

We also had some creative gifts come from copper wire. My son, twisted it into the shape of lawn furniture for his sister’s house, making a chair and a swing.

Doll house renovation

The house came a few years before. It was a rickety, old doll house from a yard sale. I revived it with support beams along the roof and foundation, cardboard roof shingles and painted siding shingles.

Tic Tac Toe

This Tic Tac Toe game was given by my then two year old. I sewed the bag from plaid and burlap. My daughter painted on paper, which I cut into circles and modge podged to the bottom of glass beads. I liked how it preserved her artwork and let her participate in the giving process.

Seasoned Salts

The last present I will share today is gifting seasoned salts. Bacon salt is easy and a tasty gift for the men in your life (or anyone who really loves bacon). The bacon flavor came out well in the food. We used it on salads, sandwiches, soups etc. This gift needs to be stored in the fridge.

To make, cook a pound of bacon to very crispy. Let cool and crumble into tiny bacon pieces. Add two cups of course salt and two tsp of ground pepper. Mix together and fill up your bottles.

The packaging was made with burlap, doubled over and glued around the neck of the bottle from the dollar store.

Tied with Raffia and a homemade, laminated tag.

The possibilities are endless. I hope this sparks some creative ideas and as always feel free to send questions or comments.

And have a wonderful Christmas holiday.

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